There used to be a period of time. I have changed a lot. While I am free I listen to the classical music from Bethoven or the Mozart. And every day I do not want the TV shows. Instead I would like to read some history books and wacth some record movies about the true story. I treat the movie as one kind waste of the life. What I really care is making more money from my works.Because of one girl give up hope on me. It is not about the love. It is just we start to date each other. She even is not my girlfriend. She said she want some one can match with her. That means I get one low salary job and she look down upon me. And I feel sad for that but I do not have any excuse. The fault is all by myself. I do not graduate from the university and I have to work at this poor place.  Even if I work hardest there are very few benefits for me. So that is when I have changed.But that status do not last long. I have become back after several months she have gone.

I quit the job. Because I think I can get better. But the god have played a great joke on me. I haven't found a job for one year. Every day I tear my tired body around this city. I even found that there is no place for me to live. The darkest days in my memory. I am afraid of that would come again. My memory and my heart. All the nerve inside me. I am as sensitive as the child. I want to cry but as a man I can not do that coward thing. 

From today I would give up something. First it is about the clothing. I have bought too much clothing. And I should cut the cost. And put more energy on the work. I would make myself full filled with the job business. I have to go.