Today I get up at about half past nine. And the weather turns sunny. I like this kind weather because I can get out today. I have been in this building for so long. I can feel my legs need a long walk to make me feel alive. These days I keep doing the sports like nothing can stop me. I feel truly tired even yesterday night for half an hour work out I need to rest every minute. But finally I have made it. I feel so happy about it. I am proving myself if I work very hard I can make it done. And I can see the improvement of the body. The fat is becoming less than before. I know if I keep this one I can make the body look perfect. So never stop though there is one very long way to go.

Today mother would come back from her work place. Every week she would come back. I used to see one line on the internet. It is talking about the time you can stay with the parents. Every week you can see your mother.And every month you can see them 4 times. And for the whole year you can only see them 48 times. And sometime you are too busy to see them. So after grown up you also need to stay with your wife or the kids. So there are very few time that you can stay with the family. It is  a pity. Mother have done a lot in this family. Though she is not good at making the money. But at least she have tried her best to raise me up. I thank her. So I believe if one day they can not work. I would pay for the cost for their daily life. This is the basic thing I can do to pay back what they have done to raise me up.

Hope they are healthy and hope they can live the life better.

I am just one normal kid even though I am already more than 25 years old. The time runs so fast make me can not get ready for it.  When I was a kid I always cry for the toys. But seems mom know me very well. She just left me in front of the toy store and then she get away. I am afraid of being lost so I have to go with her. Cry with the tears all over the face and still running after mom. It should be very funny while others seeing me like that. I'm glad I was too young to remember the smiling face on the strangers. And I love the toys indeed. Even after grown up I still have the toy dream. And I have never seen so many good toys in the room.Almost as real as in the movie.And I like thr ironman, spiderman, american captain, the Raiden  and mand cool toys I have never heard. And I start to spend money on it. First I ordered 4 and I still can not stop. The toys seems one kind special icon for me. I love the cool figures. But I also be afraid of people thinking I am a little kid action. Too naive to play the toys. One grown man playing with the toys. I truly believe that look a little wired. But I just can not control to love it. 

I am planing to make one show box to list the figure with different action on  the desk. Well that is my planning after getting back home. I am trying to create my perfect life.And it would be one part of it.

Being young is not one bad thing. Though while I was still the student I always want to grow mature. And I am willing live in the adult world. Because it seems wonderful for me. 

After grown up I have found the adult world is not as wonderful as I think. We love the party , however things have changed a lot. In the young time we talk about the funny things that we hear and see. However now we talk about the work we hate, the business, how to make the money, the cars, the house and many things we want to own. It is like showing the others how successful we are. But we have forgotten we come here to find back the friendship. It is not about the money or any other things we do not need. It is not happy in the party. Because we have become as ugly as the adults' heart already. When you are poor , we look down upon you. When you get rich, we become friends. We are not making friends with the people. We are making friends with the money. And the money is cruel thing with the crazy smell. Though sometime it do have the magic to pay many things. But what human truly care is from the heart deep inside. We look forward the friendship do not have any purpose. We are having fun with you so we are your friends. That is the true friends. So I start to miss the old days as the students. We do not need to care too much.We are just making the true friends. 

We grown up.We get something we truly want with our own ability. However we also have lost something important to us.It is pure and beautiful. But these days I can not find it any more. I wonder why people all trying very hard to make themselves change. Change them to one ugly person we used to hate. We used to be the flyers.

Just one moment ago I seems lose the control for purchasing things online. I know I am a little crazy because I just can not control my desire to purchase things online. Once I found something I would like to try it on my body. Though I do not have a perfect body shape. And I am even planning to do something right for myself. But now I just click the button to make the payment. And then I feel regret for what I have done. These things are not really needed for me.I have bunch of t-shirts in my closet even too heavy for the closet. And I do not know why I purcahse more shirts from the internet. And it is like one disease. Even do not know how to cure this.And one second ago I made my decision to cancel the order. I reuqest the refund for the t-shirt. I have fight against this desire to shop online. I know I have to do something to fight against the demon inside me.

People are born with the basic need, need the food to keep us away from hunger. Need the clothing to keep away from the cold.Need the love to keep away from the sadness. And now I think people are growing greedy because we are falling into the kingdom made of gold.We need more things to raise our so called life quality .We have forgotten what we truly need for the life.We are trying to make our life to one extreme way.Things have changed a lot since we are a kid. We compare our lives with the other people. We are losing the dreams. We are all wrong.

I think it is the time for me to turn back from the wrong things. The first step is to control myself.

Missing is not thinking of someone anyone.I just feel i am lost in this world.Try to make myself living like the successful one.But I am feeling collapsing inside me . I found the TV plays are telling lies of the life.And I also found the game is one waste of the time.But I just can not run away from it. I live under the shadow of all these things and I am feeling I am the lost one. I do not know which is wrong and which is right. I always feel I want to purchase something from the online shop and always spend lots of the time on shopping.And I am not the one I used to be any more. I try to buy lots of things that I do not need.And things are tearing me apart.I never know what is happening. 

I keep telling myself to wake up but every time it is hard to wake myself up. In the morning I have just spent 200 dollars on some dumb toys.But I just can not stop.I keep spending the money like the money is from no where. Maybe I have forgotten how many days I have been spending the time on the work.The money do not come very easy.And every day I keep dreaming of the things I need and even forget to work. This is sick.I am quite sure I would fade if this continue.I truly need the change. Just for myself. I have to make up my mind to all these things.Make everything change.

Yesterday I make up my mind to do something.Give me one month.I would make every things become the fresh one.I have to find myself in this space.

Wake up in the morning like one monkey.Finally I recognize today is the Saturday,Seems every one is enjoying the weekend because the disco music from downstairs wake me up and make me feel I maybe need to knock on his door and give him a punch in his face.I hate the music in the morning it is truly driving me crazy because I need the sleep in the morning of Saturday. 

I suddenly think of the old days while working for one Korean boss. For totally one month only one day off.And never have a weekend.Even for the new year holiday I only have three days to take a rest. Even though I have done a lot of things for them. But they never let me have a good rest.And worktime is the all night long. But at that time I have a lot of the energy for the work. And keep working until the next day .At the 8 AM while I was on my way home it is one new start of the other people. They would stare at my black eyes and they never know I have just finished my work of that day.But any way I am a kind of enjoying it because I have been working there for almost two years already.

The memory is like one book.The letters on the book can not be erased and every day we are living hard and we never feel.But after through the hard days you would feel proud what you have done in the past.And I am trying to find myself in the past.One day I can be the one better than myself now.

Finally understand the words from many people.I am my biggest enemy.When you have no one to compare with.You would fight against yourself with your own ability.Improvement is the most important thing in one's life.

I think I would met my old classmates at the high school which I haven't seen for years.But I think I start to have the social party panic for this.I never know why it is like this.And I feel things have changed a lot. People trying to show how successful they but what they never know is the true relationship of us is the class.Why can not we just live the life in the simple way.We do not talk about how much money you can make every month.We also shut our mouth for the car s we are driving.We just enjoy the feeling staying together.Drink one bottle of beer or eat one big meal in the good restaurant. That is the simple ways we stay together.

Time have passed for years. And we all have changed a lot.For me I grow fatter and have my hair cut shorter.I love the short cut since I moved in this city because it make me feel clean and tidy.I still remember the school days I care about the hair style too much that I can spend more than one hour on the hair to make it look good.Any way we all have changed a lot.With the honor for our time.We should mark it down. 

And I just do not know why I am feeling you are just too far away from me now.The time create one great distance.And I am trying to fix it.

After seeing largen numbers of news around the world.I finally found that people all think that peace is the best. However the power of the country is the only one which can keep the peace around the world.In our dialy life it is also like that.Some of us are weak and some us are strong.when the weak ones hit someone by accident while he is saying sorry some people would still go there and give them a lesson.But when you are strong you can say sorry and the people would not have any trouble with you.It is just like the relationship of the country.That is why the powerful country can lead the world.And what we need is the true power of the life.We do not have willing to fight with any body.But what we need is the power to defence ourselves from being hurt by others.This is the main aim of one country.The news truly make me feel headache.We all discussing about the news and what we need to do is power ourselves up right away and make this country become stronger.So that one day we can defence ourselves.This is the main aim of us.This is one world of the power.We need the confidence to stand out and make the whole world stay in peace and make the whole world know we are stronger than before.And protect our people in this country.This is the true power of one country.