Some people suggest me to go back to the hometown to do some business. In my heart I have this dream . I have this idea in my head for more than 2 years already. Every year I wish I can go back home. But every year I am suffering for this. 

In the past I live in the small black room ,the house filled with the package and boxes of clothes. I live there and I want to change. And then I spend twice the price to give myself one larger house. But each day I am still not satisfied with my life. The house is too old and I would never get satisfied with the life. I require one higher grade of life. I have seen more and more people doing better than me. They driving their cars, they live in the large house, they are trying to make the life more wonderful. But for me, I am like just one loser. I step here again and again. I still can not step forward. So I have tried the best to make it be better. I have to .And this power pushed me ,and I am feeling tired. Even it is not possible to go back home . The hometown is like one choice. Your fortune or the money and your hometown. This is so hard to make a choice. I want to own them both. So this is why I work till late in the night. I am not satisfied. I am one hungry wolf for success.This is all that I want.This is my life should be like .

I can not live like this.  

Keep watching the films. Keep listening to the music. Keep laughing while watching the television. If the god have the eyes on me. He should sure think I am one idiot .But every day I just live like that .And the time is running away like the sand in the sandglass but it is one way. Each day we are going closer to the end. Even we do not know when will be one end. But the life is always around us. 

People keep talking about the meaning of the life. They use their proud voice to speak highly of their jobs. They think they are creating the world's new age. And they are proud for what they do. But when learning the fact for most of our life time just for living. Like many other kinds of animals in this world. They live on their hunting. And for us we live on  works. 

I should never say no for our life. Sometime we have to face the most difficult life we have ever met. We have seen the darkest time of our life time. But we should never give up our hope. The hope for the new world. And we should never say no because we own the power to fight against many things. This is one kind way of living.And this is us.

I remeber in history the Rome use their Arena to make the people feel interested in fighting and blood. And these people are crazy for the Arena because there they can find the hero there and the so called slaves become their hero. I do not know how did the rome think of these people. And this time they treat as the way to control these people. Because when people crazy for something they would forget about their troubles. 

Now this time the people have changed their way to control people's thought. The entertainment ,  all the time you can find the shows on TV, people keep singing , dancing and all kinds of ways to make you feel enjoying. The smile on their faces become numb and what else can you see? I can feel what are these people thinking. And the happy smile is hyperbolic. But what can they do then? The culture and the world teach us to act polite in the public. So we use the slap and the smile to make us feel a little better.We are losing ourselves in the entertainment zone. We chasing stars, we admire the people who own the money, we have lost the way.

Dacne and sing is one most useless things. But now very welcomed by the world. You understand, I do not understand.

I wish for peace because people would suffer if the world is in the war. But the war have never ended .They destroyed the city with the guns and tank. They use their hands to kill people in the so called honor ways. They are using their own greed to control people to do things they want them to do. The people aim at the gold age for themselves and using the people's lives to build up their own crown and they even feel honor while get the crown on their heads. It is shame but they feel honor for it.

The world police keep trying to make the whole world controlled by their hands. And they use their force to make the whole world in fire. The war always raised by these people and make people lose their families in the war. It is bringing the world to the hell. And I feel sad and feel powerless to do anything with it. I just have to say I am sorry maybe one day I would run away from here. Then I would believe in my own religion and live in some way much better than in this so called big city. I need some place to take a good rest. Away from the war and away from all kinds of boring things in my life. Then just live the way all by myself.Leave all crap things out of the mind.