Money is one important pat in our life. We use the money to buld up our life style. And right now I am watching one program about the money. The young people usually talk about the money, the money is one part of our life. But sometimes we feel the money have already have turned to our master. We have become the slave. The money have turned up to own us. We work for the money. We treat the money as our most important thing. We use the same case to store the money. We have made the money become our owner. We are truly the slave of the money. We store the money for a larger house, We store the money for car and many things we are dreaming of. They put up some new views about the money.

One person have spent most of his money to travel around the world. And he think he is happy to spend the money on these things. Because once the money is spent he think that is the bahave of a money owner. He use the money to bring him the passion. And he enjoy his life. That is enough.

Maybe we should take some views from this person. But we should also think of the future we are owning. Money is always around us.We use the money in one right way. Use our creative thought to build our blue prints. We should own the money but not let the money end up to own us. 

I believe it is just a test by the god. And for past few years I am always living in this test. This afternoon I want to take a sleep to escape from the suffering. But seems it never worked because the stress make me have the nightmare again. Why should my life become like this?  I can see there are more and more people rising. But for me It is the falling time. Every day I am suffering. I work 14 hours one day. But the work is never working. I am confused for my life. How can I make this end? There is no answer.

I like the movie about the UFC warrior. And tommy talk with his father. He said he is glad that his father have found his god. And his mother do not have have the health insurance. They can not afford the cost for healing her sickness. She believe in god and she ask her son to give her the holy water. But that never save her and she cough out with the blood. I can see the sadness in tommy's eyes. He hate the whole family. He hate every one let him suffer in that situation. He just want to hear the family say love him. Finally he heard his brother said I love you. He finally give up and his honor and his pride all have gone. No one knows how did he suffer in the hard days. He use his hates become the strength to survive.

As a man I should never give up my future. I would keep on fighting like the warriors. In the battle field I can be beaten down. But I should never give up by myself. 

People do not fall in just one second. Mostly we are forced to work the full time and we are forced to be hard working people. But once this power disappeared some of us can not control and fall then become one loser. It is a story about myself. Past few years I have made some grand step in my career. After making some money and win some honor I have become one person so proud and also at these days I found the power for forcing me have gone and in next few months I have become one loser. 

I spend a lot of money on the toys and games. Though it is the hobby but it is wrong to use my worktime to play the games. It is totally navie and not responsible for my job. And then I lose my job. It is not just the end. I should have looked for a job long time ago. But I spend my time on the games like before. I should have learned the influence of the games because this thing used to happen while I work for one VISA company .I spend most of the time surfing online and I am totally wrong with my work. But I have never learnt anything from that lesson. Now it happened again break awauy all my hooes. I give up buying the car,I give up the hood by air I love most.  I give up playing the games these days. It only last for about 21 day. But I am working hard on it. You should know that if you are also one gamer. It feels like one kind addiction. Sometimes while you feel bored you would think of it.But I keep warning myself it is time for changing. I can not stay falling like this. Become one good person do more hard work in my life

Hope is the reason why we are living. I hope to give my family and myself the best life. I do not want to make my children live under the people's laughter. 

When I was a young boy in the middle school .Some of the classmates bully on me. They throw something on me while at class and they never make me stay focus on the class and the teacher never stop them. I am angry just because I do not have a rich family and the teachers look down on me. But I was so weak. What can I do? I just keep crying in my bed. One girl I used to like at that time see me sitting in front of the small store of my mom. And I know I am totally screw up. I am sad and cry in my bed for hours. Parents never understand me. I have a terrible childhood especially in the middle school time. And those things never make me become one worse person. What I have to do is bring the honor back by using my hands. I can not give up just because I can not be the one I used to be. I am afraid of living my poor life again. It is my  nightmare. I should never be the one I hate to be.

My hands is the only way to change the life. I work like buliding one great house of mine. Each bricks and each sand is created by myself. I have to make my hope come true. They are the reason why I am fighting and never stop. 

I get away from those bad memory and I should never pick it up again. Thousands miles away, I am building my dreams again. 

The hot weather seems would never change these days. Summer should be like a summer and the weather get as hot as it can be. I can smell the hot air in my nose under the sunshine. Any way I have to work at home. I am very glad I do not need to get out of this room. I know most people are sweating while I am standing right behind my windows and watch them suffering. I can hear people complain about the weather. We admire the students because they are having their summer holiday. Eat the water melon and staying at home watching the television. Enjoy the cool air machine, never worry about the job. Although I am staying at home, but I just can not stop. Yesterday I sleep at 3 am because ot the hot weather. And then get up at 8 o'clock. 5 hours in bed just because I can not sweat in my bed any more. My air machine is broken and I am not planning to fix it because that cost too much for the electric cost. 

Stil keep doing the sports these days. Yesterday night I can hear my heart beating very clearly. I know I am tired but when I set up my mind to do something I have to make it done perfectly. It is not about the thing , it is about the decision you have made. You have the responsibility to your decision. The moon light yesterday night is beautiful, it is in color silver like the silver color light over the sky. I enjoy my lonely days without anybody talking. Forget about me, I am quite fine than before.

Not a smoker but love the scene while the man smoking the cigarates.It is made by the movie. The man with one mature beard face and smoking the cigarates in the dark shadow night. The light of the cigarate light his face. The nose and the nice blue eyes. This kind scene can be seen in the movie but what I know smoking is bad for health though it is very cool. 

I used to smoke at the high school. At that time the school do not allow the students smoke. So we hide ourselves in the washroom. It smells bad in the washroom. But what we think it is cool to smoke like a man. Naive days of that age and we even do not know how important is the health and it do influence my score for the PE lesson. 

I can remember at that time I wear one misbhv sweatshirt with the yellow logo on my chest. We love the hip hop and even think that Wiz Khalifa smoking the grass is cool. Maybe being young we can never tell which is right or which is wrong.Any way I would just smile at the young one of myself. Looking at the old picture of mine. One young boy wearing one rock'n roll shirt standing right behind one tree.With one cigarate in my mouth and one over-sized glass on my face.Looks like one funny boy .Every time my friend would ask who is the one standing there. And after I tell them it was me they would laugh at him for almost 10 seconds. Any way it was the past already.

Growing up to a man is a good feeling. Enjoy the healthy life. I quit smoking since I gradauted from the high school. I would never say light me up bro any more.

Watching the film is another new way to escape from my life. We are dreaming we are one role in the movie and looking for ways to save this planet or fight against any kinds of evil people. People stand at the justice said act as a hero. But sometimes we are reluctant to help poor people sometimes. When some one fall down in the street, when some people even can not afford a piece of bread.We are just so numb with our numb face. If one day when we have become the status of theirs, would we feel sad if we see so many stony faces?

My family used to be in a huge trouble in the business. Ath that time the whole family have to get away from the town I grown up. At that time anyone who have given us any help I would feel really grateful for that. But there are still someone have the numb sight in their eyes. My tears run down because I am just too weak for changing that. I get away from the school and from then on my whole life have changed. Any way we should not be trapped by the past. But I can not forget the people who used to help and also can not forget the people who have never given any help and speak some cold words and hurt my whole family.

Life is always changing. I think I would help someone if they need the help. People should be nice to others. We earn our own respect. Numb people would never get any friends. I would try to help someone.

Yesterday night I have a nightmare. It is not the horror from the horror movies. It is the horror from the life. Imagine if one day you lose your money in the bank and you can not afford your food. You have to sell the furniture to make you live in this city. And I believe the stress of the life is more powerful than any other monster in the movie. And I am having the nightmare about that. Feel the life have no hope any more. Unemployed make you can not make a step in this city. The summer's temperature would almost kill you. The stress of the life make people feel crazy. And I am not feel well and it make me sweat all my body. This is my nightmare. 

We should feel grateful for the life we are having now. Forget about other things. When some day you just want to make your family eat enough food. That is the most difficult time for us. It is hard to accept it. But the nightmare bring me more stress indeed. These days I am worrying about the business. This is the last time I complain about my life. I would change it using all my hands. I would not sleep in the noon. And this is my promise. I would count on days. I would let people know my courage. I would conquer any kinds of trouble in front of me. Because I am who I am. I am the one who is in control. I would live my life in my own way. Say goodbye to the past. This is one new begining of my life.