I believe it is just a test by the god. And for past few years I am always living in this test. This afternoon I want to take a sleep to escape from the suffering. But seems it never worked because the stress make me have the nightmare again. Why should my life become like this?  I can see there are more and more people rising. But for me It is the falling time. Every day I am suffering. I work 14 hours one day. But the work is never working. I am confused for my life. How can I make this end? There is no answer.

I like the movie about the UFC warrior. And tommy talk with his father. He said he is glad that his father have found his god. And his mother do not have have the health insurance. They can not afford the cost for healing her sickness. She believe in god and she ask her son to give her the holy water. But that never save her and she cough out with the blood. I can see the sadness in tommy's eyes. He hate the whole family. He hate every one let him suffer in that situation. He just want to hear the family say love him. Finally he heard his brother said I love you. He finally give up and his honor and his pride all have gone. No one knows how did he suffer in the hard days. He use his hates become the strength to survive.

As a man I should never give up my future. I would keep on fighting like the warriors. In the battle field I can be beaten down. But I should never give up by myself.