These days I do very few things. However always feeling very tired. And always want to take a rest. I think it is wrong because the most important thing it is the work. And I have to make myself have a clear mind. Because there are just too much mess in my head. I do not know what to do right now. And do not have a plan for today. But I know things are not going well because this is the feeling that I used to have.

I have been tired of trying to be like before. In fact in the past I am really one hard working man. But now things are not going well. There are too many things I need to worry and seems these things have trapped me very hard and make me want to just take good sleep and then run away from all these feelings.These days the life keep making me struggle. I want to find one way out but it is hard to find a way.

One day have 24 hours. And each hour I have the pain in my head. I want to have a good sleep but in the morning I can not fall asleep any more. The weather , the noise, the people around. I am just so low with the life now I am having. It is just so hard to get through.

Keep thinking and keep talking. I have tried my best to make my life look a little better than before. And in the past there used to be one relative who is nice.But now seems she is trying to show how much money do they have. And how happy they  are. It is not a bad thing. But if you are just too high for that and make the words a little proud that would make the people feel really mad .And if you keep updating this kind status that would be a little sick. In fact the life is just one way to enjoy the life. Who else do not have a happy life.

People have different views about the happy life. They treat it in their own way. The kids would feel happy if you give them bench of candies. And the girls would like to own thousands of dresses that would be enough for them to get happy.I am not a happy guy because I have got too many willings for my life. I want to dress the best, live the best ,drive the best .Seems each thing around me I am trying my best to make them perfect. And because the perfect is my aim for life. That is why I am just so tired. I spend half an hour to make the clothing look flat and comfortable. I am the one who is stick with the perfect life. And I am tired but I would not make my life quality get low.Drinking one cup of milk every day and trying to make myself look healthy. I am trying hard with the perfect life. Because it is my aim.

Tired of beingone person get used to the life just so so. I am totally fed with the people who is trying to show. Also you my cousin, you would never know how the others think of you.Because it is sick indeed.

Wearing one simple shorts and one t-shirt in this place and work all day long. Sometime people can see my numb face in front of them .They even do not want to talk with this person because his face is just so numb and this is me. One person who face the computer for more than 12 hours one day. I hate this life. But I just can not say no to them. Because I live on this. And suddenly one day the power off today. And I would not see the screen today. And then I feel the silent side of this world make me remind the childhood.

I remember at about 6 years old. The friends get together while the power off and we get together with the candle light and we sing and dance for whole night and yelling while the power back. And it was not forogotten because the red candle light and the sweet smile on the friends' face. It was just so warm that I would not forget them for the whole life.

Now growing up we have been apart for so many years. We do not know where are they and maybe even if we meet each other we can not tell .It is the childhood. And now it is different. We can not treat friends well just because we like each other.We need to know where do they work. And how are these people. And if they have any bad habbit.And now soft mind come out from me.I am not the child any more.

Today I have opened up the computer and played the game for about 15 minutes. It is the shame for me. Because I have broken the promise. And I believe this is totally wrong. And I just can not stop. If this is one kind sick. I am quite sick for the games. I start to worry about this because I just can not control this feeling once I am alone. I would like to take a try. Now I am already one adult already. But I just can not stop. It is horrible. And I am trying to find some way to make myself know the truth better. Now I am feeling very regret that I have played the games. It is one shame for me indeed.I want to make myself back to normal. But I am just feeling I am wrong. It is changing me. And also change my way of the business. It start to influence my feeling and my time management. It is just so horrible for me.

For one day I have to calm down. Maybe I need to shut down all the computers and live one day without the electric. That would make me live a little better. But now it is not the time. Because I have to work on the internet.And I believe one day I would get away from this internet. Because it is one kind bad things even though they have brought large numbers of news from all over the world. But it is also hurting our world because we are lack of the communication and we are even stranger than before. Because the internet have created the walls between us. I can easily buy pyrex clothing on the internet. So that save me a lot of time going to the store. But in fact hanging on the road first can make us walk a little more and make us healthier and also can make us make more friends in the public.So this is the internet. And I am feeling sick of it. I am trying to quit.

what to wear this summer.I hate the shorts because shorts would make you look like one person who is not educated.But if you add the leather shoes for one shorts with the tie. You would look perfect. I hate the short sleeve deisgns because that do not have any feature. But if you are smart and clever you can give yourself some kinds of printing tees and then one pair of sunglasses. You would look very cool in that kind cool stuff.Fashion always need us dress in the nice style we love. And fashion need your creative designs and the perfect match works. Now today I do not want to work because of the headache. So let's talk more about the fashion. 

I am trying to make my focus on the clothing designs. However in this land the designs always too similar. They are trying to catch up with the designs just normal and the western culture have influenced us too much make the getleman standing up among normal people. I have the people wearing the ties. And I would like to try some more vintage ones as the basic tees and the cowboy look would be nicer for me.

Those days the fashion is changing and let's go and watch out for it.

Since when we were young we are deeply influenced by the Korean TV plays and the so called man seems for us is as nice as the girls. They own the slim body and speak softly like the song. Get their body covered by the perfume and nice clothing .Such as their white jeans and the perfect slim suit.And this influenced too much which make us forget what should a man should be. Since for years, i start to know what kind should a man be. It is not the way we think .The so called prince do not exist in this world .We have to be strong enough to beat down the enemies standing in front of us.And this is our life. Which make the people know how to get through the dark ages.

Be a man should take the duty. One day I would also become someone's father, someone's husband. And I have to change the lightning in the living room.When something broken we would try to mend it.And this is a man should do. And man standing the important part of this society.And even when the hard time was for us.We would try our best to make the world know the truth from us.We would try the best to make the man grown inside me. Listening to the songs which make me know the meaning of a man's life.

Hearing the news around the world. Now there are just too many things make people feeling boring. The so called news sometime keep making you feel boring. Now I am feeling tired and I would like to make my ears shut down and then focus on what I am interested. And one day maybe I would go to one place silent and then banned all the news and the all the information around the world and make my world one small world and enjoying the good weather and the sun shine. And I believe living like that would be so perfect and it is good at least I think so.

Suddenly make me remind the old time in one small village. The village is my father's hometown. That place people plant and harvest and they do not go out very much. So the smile on their face is honest and nice. I like the good feeling there. In the summer you can see the green plant every where and the weather and the air is good place. I think it is nice indeed.

The news there is not important any more. Living there you can enjoy one day fishing. And the enjoy playing one wood sword on the grass. And you can hardly find one place to buy anything. Though it is not good but that would save your money.I miss the days in the past.

I am one lonely fighter. The parents can not give me a hand. I bought the house, and I am wishing to buy one car. And seems everything is making me have to work like one slave. But I get used to this. The weather is not as hot as before.And I can seee the blue sky again. But my time is not enough .I can feel the tick clock on each second. Human is one special thing.  While they are working hard ,they think their life is suffering like one slave. And while they are enjoying playing .They would feel they are wasting the time. I do not know what is the meaning of the life. working or relaxing. I can hardly find the balance between the work and the life. Someone want to enjoy the life, and some one want to get one higher position of the  life.But some are happy and some are not happy. One group of people working hard for their life, some people want to get the glory .And some people want to live one normal life and they enjoy the poor life and they can not afford everything they want.So they would get the normal cheaper ones. They never care. I wish I can be one of them. But I am not the one. The life make me have to work. I do not know when will this end. In fact I am one complex person. One side I want to enjoy the normal life. The other side I want to be one person who can make people envy me. And these are two totally different direction and this make me some time want to stop and some time want to get higher in my life.

These thoughts are just inside me.And I have never spoken it out never, But now I pilled my  surface and make it shown to you.