People are all trapped by the love. And there used to be so many days and these days I am starting feeling the evil side inside me show up again. I keep trying to push myself back. And I never know what should I do  with this kind life I have ever done with it. But I never know why I am turning like this. I never know what is real feeling inside me. This is one cruel world for me indeed.

I love someone in past few months. But I failed. She seems have someone she love more. And now for me I am one loser in this game. This is one god dawn game and I hate it really too much. And then I want to make this fix. I tried my best to forget her. But now what is happening here!

You never understand me. You never know what is really inside me. And you never know why my life turning like this. I am tired of all these things. I gotta go.

I can feel the heat between each other. And now I am starting to feel a little cold because of this kind situation. Now I am worrying if I have done the right thing. I am trying to turn on friend to one girlfriend. I love the relationship do not have the stress. But now I am starting to change. I even have sent her one pair of gloves. And now what I am thinking about? Love can usually make people do not have the right choice any more. I want to be the good one. I want to be the one at the positive position. But seems now everything have changed a lot. I am feeling not well. Because the relationship and many years have passed. We can not be the one we are interested in each other. And now I am transfering myself to one person with the love and passion. And I am starting to lose myself. And I am trying to make myself have one direction. I am wondering if one day I can trun to the beast hunger for the love. I have to make myself calm down and face everything in my way. I am turning myself on in the fire. Because this is the love.

Love can not make me be strong. Instead of being like one stupid person. I have to be the one standing on the top. Without this I can not go back home. I have to be as successful as I can be. I have to buy one car because I need it. All these things make me have to calm down and try to make more progress in my own business.

I am working hard. I am trying my best .I would create one new kingdom of mine. This is my own choice. Like the look of homme femme la clothing looks in the black white signature. I love the way to dress. I love the fashion grand way in front of me.

I am having the pain in my heart, also have the pain in my head, and also the pain in my eyes. The pains make me want to close the eyes and forget everything. But everything is too hard for me. And I am trying to be one person treat the life in one easy way. But for me it is just so hard and I am trying the best to become one person have the happy views. But every time I feel I am one person born with the sadness. I can not get fit with the smile on my face. And usually I can feel the sadness around me. Making me feel the darkness in my mind.

Time is running. My fingers are running on the keyboard. I want to sleep every early today. Take care of the painful eyes. I want to see the future more clearly. Doing better business. Make myself feel comfort while trying very hard to make it done.

One day I believe that I can become the person who can hold the future. But these days I start to doubt myself. I am having a very bad issues for myself. I want to make it change. But I am just too weak to control everything. I am feeling I am losing in this game already.

You know in this southern city there is no snow in the winter. For so many years I have never seen the snow which I used to play with in my childhood. And now I start to miss the snow with the pure white look in the night. At that time parents would make one bbq party in the meeting room. And my little sister would sit by side and enjoy the tv shows and this time of this year. You would never know this kind feeling because I miss the home so much. I can still remember the look of the front gate. I remember the small bridge while going to the school. I still can see the sunshine over the river in my head. And all these things are truly making me feel the warmth of going home. I am planning for all these things. Because I miss it.

Homeland is one place of my sadness. I ran away from there quit the school. One night the life totally changed. Without the money in the pocket. Can not find any way to make myself know the meaning the life.Everything have changed too much. But I am trying to make it become normal that I want. I am fighting. Every day I try my best. And finally I have made it. One day I know the god is watching. What we have done would always get one result that we ever want. And now we are right on the way. And fighting hard for my life.