I used to talk with mother much. Seems she is one good friend of mine because past of few years I am all alone in this strange city. I work my job on the internet. Every day I think I should walk out and get some fresh air but mostly I would like to stay at home. Watch some movies listen to some music. Seems this is the main stream of my life. I would like to do some sports but now these days the cellphone and the computer have taken more time from me. And I truly wish I can get away from this kind life. But I do not have any choice any more. My life is just like this. You can not make a changce. Because I do not have any other way to go. 

Like the song said. Sometimes you can not change and you can not choose. Yes. it is the life. You worry about your parents. You need to make all kinds of decisions for your life. I have been away from the hometown for so long. 9 years already! And what I want the most is going home. Enjoy the taste of the hometown. Listen to some local language there. I want to see some of the old friends. I want to live my life in one new way. I would be a hard working man fighting for my dream. But the wish deep inside me is going home. Please take me home. One day I would sit in my house and enjoy the weather I love.

Suddenly I remind this song in my head. It was just at the middle school. I am just a kid who love the rock really much.And I store the money for breakfast every day.And then in the weekend I would go to one CD store near my home and then fall into the music world. And I am there and find the Guns'N Roses. One vintage rock music band like the 70s love the music from Eagles and I love their music because I just enjoy the music. Sometimes you can not tell the reason why you love something. Because the love is from your heart. And you just love it. And now I am reading the lyrics of Civil war. I know sometimes art can not be involved with the politics. But while it is against the war we would cheer for it. 

When you think of a war you would find that the war is not a war of a country. The greedy people in this country would sell trade the soldiers lives for their benefit, the oil , the source and the power.And it is the rich people's game but the poor people are paying their lives. And war should never happen. It is the disaster of the human. And we should learn more from the war. I imgaine if one day the whole earth only have one country. Maybe there would not be the war. But if greed is one kind human nature I can not imgine that.

Any way it is all about the music. I love the music.

If one day you are too old to make a movie. That you can hardly change anything would you feel regret what you have done in your life? If one day someone have left you forever, would you feel sorry for what you have done with them?If one day you have a lot of time to confess would you feel the sins would be washed away by the confession? I believe I would because my life have changed so much. Everyone in my family is suffering and every time they are trying to fix this and then here comes another trouble. All of my mother's life time is trying to fix everything. The mistake they have made make them suffering. And I know I should not treat my father so bad. But I still can not forgive for what he have done for this whole family. And the hate is still inside me and I can not forget the words that used to hurt me so bad. I remember one day I am crying and hold my mother's hands. He never know it is not we get united in this family. It is him seperate himself from this family. And I still can not forgive him. Because once a heart is broken it is not fixable anymore.

I watch some sad movies and try to make my heart softer and try to make myself feel the love between the different people. But in this family I can not see the hope. I am torn down by this situation. Looking at the sky over the head. It is totally sick. That is why I want to escape from this kind life. But what is my direction. Where should I go? I never know about it.I am just one blind sailor on this lonely dark ocean. And the light in my eyes have fade away. I do not know how I would live the rest of my life.  

Monday is a fresh start of the week. And I wish I can have a new rule for my living. I have spent too much time on the games for past 2 weeks. I do not know how to quit the addiction to the games. So I ask my mother for some help. But she can not help. I am feeling helpless. The the rain drops hit on the windows. The noise make my heat suffer again. I want to play the game. The game for me seems have some kinds of magic make me forget the trouble and the stress for several hours. After I quit the game the bothering things come up again. And I never know how to handle it. I feel horrible for the status I am having. 

I haven't done the sports for so long. I wish I can spend more time on the sports. But now what happened to me.And now today I have watched 3 movies and spend more time on the movies. I am totally sick indeed.

Today I am going to sleep at a quarter to 11.And then read some of the books. Maybe it would help me a little.

Two days ago it was one special valentino day in my country. There used to be one tale about that day the girl and the boy in the heaven would meet. They are seperated by the god because the girl is one godness and the boy is one normal farmer. And the god do not want them love each other. However they are falling so deep in the love. So the mother of the godness would allow them meet on every 1st of July and that day also become the valentino's day in my country.

Love can make people become crazy. However now I am not that kind person with that passion. I just feel cold and lonely and feel get used to this kind life style. Every day wake up alone. Listen to some music. watch some vintage movie. Then one day get passed. I do not care about her because she is not the one fit for me. What make us connect is just some kinds of connection between the friends. And now everything is not the thing I want. I feel like to make myself lock in one cage. And I do not know what should the love should be. I know you care about me. But I never mean to hurt you or doing anything bad for you. I am just one person do not know how to handle with the girls. I am so tired these days.

Mother told me to be nice to you. But I can not make myself become one fake person with the fake love. I want you find someone else to love. I want to be the one enjoy the grand business world of mine. I do not want to trapped by these love. I just want to make myself awake for my business. 

It is late. You need to take a good sleep. And then you forget me. We are strangers again.

Yesterday I have spent 2 hours clean up my keyboard. It is all because I have a bad habbit. Use the keyboard while eating and our hair fall and also get into the keyboard. Sometimes while you are using a papper and some of them also get into the keyboard. It is a long time infuence and finally you have found there are a lot of dirty and disgusting things in your keyboard. You try to reverse it and make it get out but most of them are still inside the keyboard. So this is the time to watch my ways to clean the keyboard.

FIrst we need a brush you can also use one used teeth brush as it is soft and would not harm your keyboard. And then you would need one box to store the keys on your keyboards. and then one dry clothing. The tools are very simple and you can make your keyboard look as a new one.

First you need to grab every keys on the keyboard out.Maybe some of us do not know the keys can be taken out from the keyboards. It is very easy .You need to grab both sides of the keys and then use some power to grab it out.And this would also work on your computer pad. And then you would find the keys are made of plastic. That means you can use the water to wash them. And then put it on the dry clothing and wait for it get dry. And at this time you need to do the wotrk to clean the boards. And you can see every details on the boards. And most of the dirty things is inside the boards and you need to use the brush and clean it up. It is like using one broom to clean the house. And it is would be easy. Clean every details of the keyboards and then put it back together. Such one easy job for us. And then you keyboard would become clean and tidy again.

 But what we should remember is do not use the dirty hands to use the keyboards again.And keep your keyboard clean and tidy.