If one day you are too old to make a movie. That you can hardly change anything would you feel regret what you have done in your life? If one day someone have left you forever, would you feel sorry for what you have done with them?If one day you have a lot of time to confess would you feel the sins would be washed away by the confession? I believe I would because my life have changed so much. Everyone in my family is suffering and every time they are trying to fix this and then here comes another trouble. All of my mother's life time is trying to fix everything. The mistake they have made make them suffering. And I know I should not treat my father so bad. But I still can not forgive for what he have done for this whole family. And the hate is still inside me and I can not forget the words that used to hurt me so bad. I remember one day I am crying and hold my mother's hands. He never know it is not we get united in this family. It is him seperate himself from this family. And I still can not forgive him. Because once a heart is broken it is not fixable anymore.

I watch some sad movies and try to make my heart softer and try to make myself feel the love between the different people. But in this family I can not see the hope. I am torn down by this situation. Looking at the sky over the head. It is totally sick. That is why I want to escape from this kind life. But what is my direction. Where should I go? I never know about it.I am just one blind sailor on this lonely dark ocean. And the light in my eyes have fade away. I do not know how I would live the rest of my life.