Missing is not thinking of someone anyone.I just feel i am lost in this world.Try to make myself living like the successful one.But I am feeling collapsing inside me . I found the TV plays are telling lies of the life.And I also found the game is one waste of the time.But I just can not run away from it. I live under the shadow of all these things and I am feeling I am the lost one. I do not know which is wrong and which is right. I always feel I want to purchase something from the online shop and always spend lots of the time on shopping.And I am not the one I used to be any more. I try to buy lots of things that I do not need.And things are tearing me apart.I never know what is happening. 

I keep telling myself to wake up but every time it is hard to wake myself up. In the morning I have just spent 200 dollars on some dumb toys.But I just can not stop.I keep spending the money like the money is from no where. Maybe I have forgotten how many days I have been spending the time on the work.The money do not come very easy.And every day I keep dreaming of the things I need and even forget to work. This is sick.I am quite sure I would fade if this continue.I truly need the change. Just for myself. I have to make up my mind to all these things.Make everything change.

Yesterday I make up my mind to do something.Give me one month.I would make every things become the fresh one.I have to find myself in this space.