I am one television fan. Breaking bad, True Detective, Game of Throne and Prison Break are all in my list. And thesee days I am watching the TV play called Forever. It is about one doctor who never die. And I am giving up it because some of this TV play make me feel it is a little waste of the time. 

Main theme of this TV play should be about the detective. However most of the play you can guess what would the result be .One episode one case,but after watching the episode 4 you would find basic rule of their case. The case look like the suicide is a murder case.The case look like a murder case is just one suicide. And this theme have run for more than 4 episodes you would feel borning. And in another saying the main actor of this play have a life last forever. But seems his forever life do not make any sense in this play. The more he do is just playing like one detective. And why he is so special that the poice would offer him the special job. He is not strong enough to fight. And his head is not really briliant. I am boring while seeing this. They do not have surprising details in this play. If the episode 5 still acting like that I may have to give up.
Sometime in our life there is something you can not tell what is the bad part of it.But you just can not take it. And this TV play series should be like that. The TV play called Forever can not be boring like this forever. Hope there is osme change in this TV play. 

Since when I was 16 I am a great fan in the rock music. Music world is one world you can explore all the time. And rock used to be my main favourites. In the night you would put on the headphone and make them play for all night long. I am that kind fan indeed. But seems the rock is dead for me now. I am sitting here try to listen to the old music I used to love. But now it is just too noisy for me. Maybe when you grown older you would like the silence without the noise of the music. So I say the rock is dead for me. 

The things I used to love all fade to another different thing for me. The jeans, the t-shirts with the cool printing, the coca cola and the sweet candy. Things we love all have changed. And is it because of the age? My rock is dead and many things I love is dead.

Time have gone so fast. It is already the midnight. I maybe need to take a good rest for now. See you tomorrow.

This is the first I cancel downloading a game because there is no time for the game. I am addicted to the games like many people addicted to the alcohol, smoking. It is sure a bad habbit. For most people game is just one kind entertainment tool but for me it is one thing make my life whole messed up. I can play the game till 2 am in the morning. I know it is all worng but I just can not control . I know that is sick from inside.

I start to look into the reason why I have been so addicted to this thing. And then I have found it is all because I am so lonely.Sometimes I would want to try some healthier life style such as spend half an hour running along the street. Or I can go to the cninema watch some movies. But it is OK to do with your friends. But one day if you are doing this alone you look stupied.

So because of this, I would like to knock myself in this house. But what can you do? Like playing the games? It is the only way for me to pass the hard lonely time. And it is the only way to make the time run faster. But it also can bring you to the loser's circle world. Every day the game would release the new ones. You have to spend more and more time even would influence your work time. That is sick. But I believe I have spent thousands work hours playing the games. So today I have no time for the games. 

This is the second day training the body. Not as tired of the first round. And I feel the leg become tighter. I know I should start this training long ago. But seems the body never want to make a move. Finally I set up my mind the day before yesterday. Body is one special thing if you keep it moving the more energitical it would become. And for me I think the body is one icon of the clothing. If you are too fat or too thin. The clothing would not work on you no matter how much money you have spent on the clothing it would never be fit on a unhealthy body. So that is why I start to train my body shape. I used to wear the tight jeans but now these jeans have become too tight for me. That means my legs are growing fatter after I stop work out these days. And I should control myself for everything I eat. But sometimes while you are hungry you can not control yourself. You feel like to fill your mouth full of the fried chicken. But also at the same time that means one day of work out have been wasted because you have eaten these junk food, taste great but they are truly junk that creating large numbers of fat on your body.

Fashion always have the connection with the body health. You need to make you body fit and keep it low fat. Fat people are not looking well and even worse is they are not well from the inside. High blood pressure, high blood sugar and these things can take away your life quality.So come with me and start work out today. At least for your health and imagine that one day you can wear the nice clothing on your perfect body. It is amazing. And I would keep this going on.

While I was just a little kid, while I face some problems I would just cry and ask my parents for the help. As the time flies , I am grown uo and then I have found the tears are not useful any more. You face some people bully on you, you cry they would bully harder. While you have some trouble, the tears are one kind waste of the time. So after realizing that I haven't cried any more for a long time. Because I think the tears are just nothing and never help.

I remember there is one time, I am carrying one very heavy bag. And my house rent is on the 8th floor and do not have a elevator. I was just too tired indeed after a long walk from the market. And standing at the bottom floor of the building. How I wish there is anyone can help me. But in this strange city there is no one to help you. And you have grab you bag tight and then walk through the high floors no matter how tired you are.But also at that time I can feel the tears in my eyes. It never fall because I swap it away before it falls.

Living in this city it is truly hard. You have to fight for a living. And you have to stand the lonely life. Thousands miles away from the hometown. And you can not find anyone to talk. And tears means noting for you. You have to become as hard as a stone. This is the life. Tears are nothing.

I have just seen one person on the internet. We are all in one same bbs.And he upload several photos of himself and seems he is lonely and he is trying to find some girlfriend on the internet. And soon there are a lot of people laugh at him. It is not because he is funny it is all because his thought. Seems he is working in the same city like me. And he is trying to show how much money he have.The normal brand he treat it as sone kind luxury brand and seems these things have brought him the pride. And he never know at that time he already become the joker among the people. He show how much money in his purse and he let us know his brand name clothing are all original. And during the time he is trying to prove he have already lost. This is the internet. While you look through this thing with your calm mind you would feel pity on this person. He is living in his small world. And he haven't seen much things in his life time. That is why he think the things he have bought is just some luxury things for him. And he is lonely. He never know what his life should be like. And also because of his small world , he feel confident but he never know he would be laughed at on the internet. 

Such one world filled with different kinds of violence. Some of the violence is phisycal and some of them is for the heart.One young person being laughed at large numbers of people and what he can do is just hide himself behind the screen.Funy world for us.We all have become this kind violent people hurt others' heart.

Yesteday I have been watching the movie on the internet.This time it is about the one normal person have done many things incredible. And he used to be like one day dreaming man just like me. But finally he get out of the city that he live there for most of his life and then he take his adventure and he found the confidence by his experience.And he finally found his love. It is one wonderful movie. And I love the song in this movie called Space Oddity. I think every little boy should have this kind dream to become a pilot driving the plane across the blue sky.We are born to take the adventure. However in the life time something is changing us and make us become the person just like Walter. When you ask me where I have been, I do not have any place to mention because there is no place worth to mention. And you ask me if I have done something amazing, then I think for a while, seems most of my life I am working always. There is no other things to mention about. So why my life is just so normal? I used to ask this quetsion to myself. Maybe I just can not get out of this cage because we are trapped by the life. It is one sad story. Maybe one day I would be one person like to travel around this world. I can not make my life stay like this cold white water in this cup. Why can't I make myself one cup of coffee, one cup of Vodka or anything have the nice taste.

My dream is still my dream. And I am still working. But right now there is seed in my heart. I know one day it would become one big dream tree of mine. And then one day I would leave this city and walk into another big world I am looking forward.

This should be my last of the holiday. And this is not a good start of the October. We are using the time in one extreme way to travel around this country. And then take this tired body for the coming work days. So I decide to take a good rest tomorrow and then go to work with the energy. 

Mother is going to leave. Even though I have written the words to my mother to say goodbye. But you should know it is not feeling well while leaving the family. But all my stuff are packed already. I have to leave this place I have to leave this hood for protecting for long enough. And I think I should live indepedant and know what is the aim and the meaning of my own life. Sounds like a challenge but it is a very serious thruth I should face. We can not live under the protection of the parents all life long.We should learn to face the whole world alone. And now I am bringing myself the lessons. The first thing I should do is leaving the house I used to leave for years and find some place new to start a new single life. Pay for the rent, cook the food ,go to the hospital and enjoy the life all alone. Maybe I would face a lot of trouble in future. But the aim is learning how to handle all these things without the parents' help.I am looking forward for this kind life. And I wish I can make it better.

In the life time we are all trying to improve ourselves. We want to be better and we should bring ourselves the lesson.And we should never give up. This ist he meaning oft he life. And I am fighting hard for this.