In the middle of October it should be the deep autumn in most cities. However it is still warm here, I can see the sunshine on my desk. About two years ago, I have spoken some words, How I wish I can live a house with the sunshine on my bed and the desk. Now it has come true but do not bring me mushc surprise. It is just another normal day like before. The weather didn't change much. I still sleep late in the night. My job is not done well also. Am I bron to be like this loser?Am I fallen like this? Maybe it is just a test from god. He is trying my edge. 

I have told myself a thousand times I would not give up. Because giving up means a lot of things for me. The people around you would not honor you any more. You would feel the bottom feeling again. Other people would laugh at you and they would look down upon you. As soon as you give up, the dark evil would swallow your hope and everything you own. You would not want to see that. So no matter how hard the road in future would be. No matter how hard the future would be. I am always the fighter. Here comes the one stand on my way, I would take it away. Until my road become wide and flat. Because I am holding my dreams. I can not let it go. 

Mother always teach me to be a strong boy. 5 years old, I fell down, She stand there and watching me. She know I was waiting for her help. But she always know as a parents she can not stay with me and protect me forever. So I have to stand up by myself. She tell me I should be indepedant. At that time I can not understand her and doubt if she still love me. But the truth is I have learned a lot in my childhood and bring me the strength to fight against the difficulties in my life.I should thank her.