I work as a self-employed worker for myself. So that means I can arrange any work time for myself. Sounds great for many people who have to get up in the cold winter morning. They admire me. But for me I admire those people who have a stable work to do every day.

You can not feel your life as your life do not have a order. In the morning I can be in my bed. Or I can also be on the work desk from last night. There is no rules for your life. And then you feel you are free. But you are trapped by the daily trouble around. When one person is working in one company. There is no stress for him. He is just waiting for another monthly salary. But for me I worry about the business. When the business is not running well. You have to try to find the reason and give your work a new solution. So the trouble is happening every day.And you should hanle with it in time. Or you would tear the loss.

When I was a kid, When I have any trouble, I can ask my mother or father for help. But now. It is impossible. You have to handle with it all by yourself. Father is not as strong as before. Mother is not as smart as before. Because they are all old. So now you are playing an important role in your family. You are the only one that you can rely on. This is my stress. 

But I have to give myself a rule for my life. It is not OK to be late every day. It is also not OK to be a loser every day.

I don't know why. I dream of you yesterday night. Looks we are travelling in some place. I can see your smile very clearly.Things are always changing. Mother keep telling me your good things. You are a kind girl. But I hink you can only be my friend. I the one who want the so called perfect love. It means I have to love when first time I saw you. But you can not give me that feeling. 

But why did I dream of you?

It is strange. But it did happen. Maybe you are a good girl. But you never understand why I do not like you. You have post so many selfies on the internet. I think you should be a shy girl. But when I see your photo I do not think so. Love for me should be some kinds of silent and wonderful thing. But you have never given me that feeling. Any way you are nice in the most of the time.

For another half a year,I do not know what would happen in future. Love is not important for me any more. I get used to my lonely life. I think being alone is a good thing to make you see the whole world crystal clear. Maybe I care about you because you are a good friend of mine. I would be your good friend.