Finally I have get my holiday of this year, After spending 3 days do not have anything to do. I am feeling boring and decide to write something here. This is a boring holiday because most of the friends are still working in another city. I want to to go back to the homtown. But in next few days I am going to move back there. So I would not waste money on the expensive ticket. So I decide to spend the holiday at home. I have nothing to do but watching the TV. And parents are sitting around me watching the TV shows. They are laughting happily. But for me there is some stress tearing my heart. The stress is from the future. I have a plan for many things. I want to make more momney before I get back to that hometown. I wish I can live a better life. But seems most things can not be what you want. I am worrying what if I can not live well in the hometown. What if I lose in my business there. I never understand that. 

It is all about the money. The money bring us the happiness but the money also bring us the stress. It is like a demon insinde both you and me. But we can not refuse it. It is demon. The long holiday make me think of many things. I do not know what to choose/ We are always making choices in our life. They are influcing our future indeed.The long holiday is truly a long holiday.

I am living in the east. But I do not know when to start .Today have become the Valentine's day. There are a lot of people selling roses on the street. And there are a lot of lovers. Any way I am single. And I am enjoying my single life. I think we should treasure the single time before it is gone. When I was a kid I was dreaming that one day I can grow up as fast as I can .Because I think there is a lot of fun when grown up. But the truth is when you grown up you have a lot of troubles. You would miss your childhood. At that time just one small toy can make you happy for a whole week. Maybe there are a lot of people are trying to avoid their single life. But do you know if you are going to be happy when you get a boyfriend or a girlfriend ?  Would you be happy after you get married? I have a friend who used to ge te married very young. But now she is divorced with a baby ? Life is hard for her. I start to enjoy the single life. In my room. I can do anything I want to do. 

There are a lot of people feel lonely because they have lost their fun. I think grown up is just one thing about the age. If you are still having the fun of your young time. That would be great. You can spend some time on the gym house. Or you spend several hours playing the video games. Or you can go hiking. That is a lot of fun than hanging out with one girl. They are boring why should all boys be glad to do that. I am done with that long time ago. I enjoy my single time indeed.

I have been like one retired old man for two weeks. My job have been abandoned for so long. I do not want to face the computer. I would like to spend more time on a game or something can catch my focus. I am tired. Maybe it is near the new year festival in my country. Every one is preparing for the new year stuff. I believe we have had too many hoilidays that waste most of our time. 

Yesterday night I sleep very late again at 2 am in the morning. I can not wake up in the morning. I believe I have wasted amother day. The time is making me feel nervous because the time is so fast make me feel the stress. I have a bad dream. I was angry with many things. I shout and scream al night long. When I wake up I feel I am tired. I think I am angry with my family. Maybe it is about the plan for moving back to hometown. There is a lot of trouble for that. I am not sure which is the safest one.  Now I have totally failed in my business. But I wish I can have a fresh start. I wish I can live better after going back to the hometown. I am trying to bring myself the strength to fight on. I have given up for two weeks. But it is not feeling good. I walk one step forward. I wish I can see a brighter future.

Acording to the plan, it is near the time to go back to hometown. At the end of March after we have spent the festibal in this city. All the furniture would be moved back to the hometown which is 3000 miles away from this city. That would cross a long distance. And that would also cost a long time and a lot of money.But I am happy with it just because it is the time to go back home. Even though the future can not be seen clearly. 

There is not people is impressed in the memory of the childhood. But there is a strong feeling for the mind inside me to make me want to go back to the hometown. I have been there for several times in the last few years. While walking on the streets in the hometown. The feeling is different. After getting back there, I should walk along the old streets I used to walk. I would pay a visit to the old school I used to study. The memory is marked in my brain. It is not that easy to forget. 

There is no people to miss in that place. The people there leave me a bad impression. They are greedy and they wish to gain as much money as they want. They even do not know how to handle with the relationship. People are getting bad. But I miss the place I used to live. 

People think the monday should be a busy day. I have been out of my work for more than one week already.Now at the begining of the monday .I get out to the market with my friend. It is all about the business.I used to think that I would find a job or somethihng to feed myself. But now I have given up that thought long time ago. I think the business is my only way out. There are a lot of people work as a worker in one factory or some kinds of shop. They think that kind work would offer them a stable life. They can pay the rent and their tax in time. And every week they would get a stable salary. However what if one day the company break? What if they are fired by the boss? In fact there is no stable future for all of us. We just misunderstand the meaning of work. We should get more chances while we are working. The job is just one way to gain enough experience to let you can work alone by yourself. If you keep working for all of your life time. You have no hope. Then you just retired with your old body. There is no future. Congratulations , you have just made nothing wonderful for your whole life time. Maybe my thought is a little out of the edge. Some people just like that kind simple life without any worrying. They live in their way. But I can choose my own life. 

Hello , monday, I am going to my own business another new day. 

How can I call it as a holiday. In fact I have been busy with something for the days I have gone. But now I am back again. Something is in my head . 

I have bought something special from the internet. It was one giant item . The idea come from one game called Titan Fall. There is the led light on the front of this model. Here is the picture.

There is one space in front of the armor that I can put one driver inside. The design is amazing and I love the giant guns model. Tomorrow I would upload some more pictures of this amazing figure. They are the great art work from the games. 

My friend never understand why I would spend so much money on all these things. In my ideas I think it is just one collection I love. The cool designs and the giant size more than 40 CM. They are a great item for the living room. 

Today it is sunny.The sunshine trough the window and spread on my desk. But the desk is dirty and mess. I haven't cleaned it for more than two weeks already. I eat, drink on this desk. It is also my work desk. I can see the hamburger boxes, the cups filled with the wather yesteday and one figure toy I bought several weeks ago. They are all ly on my desk do not have any living sense. I realize I am all alone in this house.

When I was a kid, I am afraid of being alone in the house. I remember I usually would get into my parents' bed room in the night. Because I feel afraid of the darkness. When you trun around you always have some feeling that one person is staring at you. Now I get used to this house do not have any people. It is quite. It can be a good time to listen to the music. But I think the music is for the happy time. So I am saying I am not happy. 

Time continues, my legs feel really cold in this winter. I am not sure if I am old. Now I am not like before. I used to stay up for more than 48 hours without sleeping. But even one night make me feel truly tired. Seems the time have taken away our energy or we are losing our power in the time. 

It is a sunny day. I am going out for a walk. See you. 

I am living in one very traditional country. Father and mother are both worked in the goverment office. They think their kid should be a well mannered perfect kid. They put a great hope on me. They think I should  get a perfect job like them. But I am not the one they wanted me to become. 

I can not understand why there are so many parents are trying to make up one raod for their kids. I know they love their kids very much. And they wish they can live in the way they wanted. But have they ever considered what their kids thinking. People should have a choice for their own life. When he is a kid, he have the right to play in the nature world. But they knock the kids in the door with the boring piano. When they need to make friends at the school. They never let them out and knock them in the room to study. I think the knowledge should be learned by the curiosity .But the parents never realize it. They have erased the kids' fun and make their childhood boring. And there are many groups of parents even send their kids to the telvision show. They teach their kids to speak something the adults like. They teach their kids to entertain the adults. But in my eyes, they look like the poor toys of the adults. It is not fair . The kids should have their own nature. They should enjoy their childhood. I have been fighting against my parents for so many years. Now I think I have chosen my right way. And they finally give up to make a road for my life. I would walk my road all by myself. I enjoy my life here.