It is borning in a public bus. Facing lots of strangers very close. They are from different corner of this city. Some one carry a strange smell that you can not bear it. It would be worse in the summer. And most of the time on the bus I would think a lot of things. Because there is nothing you can do at that small space except keeping your balance on the shaking bus. The thoughts can include anything. Mostly it is about the people on the bus. I would find a target and guess what he or she is doing. It is fun.

One girl carrying a messenger bag withthe beanie hat and one pair of lovely gloves. She look nice so there should be a lot of boys chasing her. She is not that tall so she should not be working as a model. And look at that messenger bag filled with the files of white paper. She should be working at some company.And these days most company use the computer pad as a office tool. I believe she would be a sales for a company. Because that job would require a lot of files of their products. I am not sure if I am right. I am just interested in that game. 

The old man carrying a wooden stick. The package is put on the floor covered with dirt. I can tell the strange sight in his eyes. He must be some one new to this big city. I can tell because I am the one just like him. He is old because of white beard covered his face. From the stuff he is taking. He should be some city worker's parents come and visit his son or daugter.Because the starting station of this bus is from the train station. 

Soon I have arrived my destination. I have to get out. And leave the thoughts behind. 

One of the favorite role in batman. He want to see the world on fire. But sometimes while you digging into his childhood you would know that his monster father have created this monster. Like the Prison Break's T-Bag. They were all used to be the good person. But they are treated in some extreme way. Do you remember the scar on his face. Why so serious? It is the words that the his drunk father asked him. His father slice a big wide mouth on his little lovely face. What have the kid done? Batman is one so called hero. He have done some many things violent but no one care because he is a hero. Joker maybe just need some love for him. He need a normal life to bring his mind back to the normal world. But now he is missing. 

I am from Asia so every time the music played I can feel a strong feeling of missing the hometown. Cross the pacific ocean and very far away from the home, I arrived here just for one day I can go home. I know the reason why I leave. I hate thinking of the place I used to live. It is a beautiful small city.The people there are nice. They treat people with kindness. They are always glad to help others. There is one big iron bride which have stand over the river for 20 years. I get cross there every day while going to the school. They speak the special language in my hometown. I haven't heard it for really a long time. 

For one man's whole life, they trade their time and their missing feelings for the hometown just for some better life. They do not dare to spend the money. Their only dream is going back the hometown with the money they have trade their time and love to. And now after listening the apl song. I miss my hometown again. How I wish I can go back there one day. In fact why people always want so much money. Maybe enjoy a normal life with the family would be much better. I want to go home. The home is far away.One day I would get back there.

I would be fine. In fact you do not need to worry about me. Love is for both. And if you are not interested it is OK to get away.I also have some others I love. I am not lonely at all.I am not that kind dark mind person. So do not need to worry about me. I would be fine very soon. Believe I am not telling a lie to you. I do not care that much any more. I go to the same bar is not because I want to say you. I just enjoy the flaver of their red wine. I sit alone is because my friend have something to do. So I get here alone. Have'n't been alone for a long time i feel not comfortable. So once when I see you with another man I walk away. I am not hiding from you. It is all because something get into my eyes. I have to go to washroom to clean it out. I am really fine. So do not worry about me. You are not that amazing to hurt me. I am a stone in the love. No matter who you are I do not care. Something should be hidden. You can not speak it out. I am truly OK. 

Being alone is really a good thing. I like watching the movie in the cinima all by myself. No one would disturb me. I do not need to keep talking. I enjoy every moment these days. 

For the all these words, there is only one word is true - love. And I comfess I have told you such a long lie. I miss you so much. I can not live without you. Love is making me hurt. I know you would not read these words. It is OK.  I am still hiding my weakest side here. 

Any way I am always unhappy. Now you can see me wearing a hat busy with my job. It is hard to keep a diary every day. But seems speak the trouble out would help. I hate living alone. I hate my house have somebody else. I hate using the same toilet with others. I hate myself. There are so many things that I hate which make me feel horrible. My life horrible. I wish I can get rid of it. But seems it does not change too much no matter how hard I have been pushing.  Now the winter have come, and the weather getting colder. The worse is you feel your heart also get colder. I am not the one I used to be. The passion inside me have fade away and I am not sure which is my bottom. But I am sure one day I am reaching the bottom soon.

No one care about me. There is no wish for my birthday. There is no person make me a telephone call. Even if I am dead no one would notice. 

Mother only care about her money. Father only want to live free. He do not have the salary and everything count on me. No matter how dirty the house is he would not clean it. And every day I live like a slave for the whole family. Maybe one day when I reach the edge I would run pretty far away from here. I am tired of all my life. I want to start a new life. 

Beautiful face is one natural born gift from the parents. However nowadays I start to get confusing about the face.In early 21th century , one new word come up to the public - Cosmtetic Procedures . At that time it was strange and few people know about it. However just in about one decade this word is worlde widely known. And there are so many people have seen it or they have already use it to improve their faces already. 

You are not satisfied with your eyes, So us it , you can make your eyes wider and better looking. If you feel your face is too wide. Use it, soon your face would be the size you want. Now our face have already become one customized mask already. Once I am not getting used to it, I can change it. So what I am confusing about is what is our face. 

Face is not our true face any more. But beautiful is limited. We always say the beauty is from the inside. It is from the spirit. But beautiful face is welcomed indeed. But one day if you have the beautiful face but speaking the nude languages and spit on the street. No one would like you, they would just treat you as a brainless beautiful doll. And for what you have done you deserve it. 

Beautiful is for both sides, inside and outside. and you are willing to be beautiful, you are free to do it. But you may also need to train yourself to become one polite people. It is needed.

Every time at this season, my eyes would feel pain. It is true because every year I have the diary and it is at the same month of the year. The weather is truning cold but if you like to you can still wear your t-shirt. I spend about 200 dollars to buy one leather jacket. But seems you can hardly find any time for wearing it. And everytime near the end of the year, you can feel lonely because the festival is coming. You would spend single time through the Christmas Eve, when every one saying Merry Christmas, you are still alone in this house. I have tried all kinds of means to make me feel better. I play the music loud, even the downstairs can hear my music playing. But it is just the music playing in this house. No one would care about one single man living upstairs. It is should be the most crazy days in my life. I am quite sure, because I finally find some ways to get away from this horrible life. But this life would end next year. 

Grandmother is sick in hospital now. And I do not have much connection with her. She used to look down upon me. The time while I was working those people never make me a telephone call. I have been living like a clown that everybody laugh at me. I feel sad but at that time it is only sad. I am just too weak to change the situation. Mother forced me to make her a telephone call but I have nothing to say. It is awkward silence on the line. She know me hate her and I know she do not like me. This is it. 

I wish I can reach higher. I wish I can gain my honor from those people who look down upon me.

Well, this is the first time when talking about the jobs. Do you have the same thoughts just like me? We hate the boss. The boss is one so called leader for us. But in fact most of we people do not trust them.They just own a higher grade. But they can spend half an hour to talk with you just because you are 5 minutes late. And they enjoy using their right over you to make you feel shame. But we all know people should not be late for the work. But would the boss talk influence the work time? I belive it is. So there should be one rule that once the employee is late for work they should get a fine from the compnay. But not a talk from the boss. But there are still many things happening similar like the boss talk. They think they are from the higher grade. But they have forgotten their right can not be handled over the company. And usually while they are using their rights they are also do something harmful for the company. 

But any way we are all the slaves for the company. We use our hands to create the benefits for the company. And the company pay us the salary. But this relationship the company should thank our hard working .But the truth is instead we thank the company have given us a job to do. What is the reason? I never know. But most employees are all glad to work for the company. They never know they are the main source of the company's benefits.