I have been like one retired old man for two weeks. My job have been abandoned for so long. I do not want to face the computer. I would like to spend more time on a game or something can catch my focus. I am tired. Maybe it is near the new year festival in my country. Every one is preparing for the new year stuff. I believe we have had too many hoilidays that waste most of our time. 

Yesterday night I sleep very late again at 2 am in the morning. I can not wake up in the morning. I believe I have wasted amother day. The time is making me feel nervous because the time is so fast make me feel the stress. I have a bad dream. I was angry with many things. I shout and scream al night long. When I wake up I feel I am tired. I think I am angry with my family. Maybe it is about the plan for moving back to hometown. There is a lot of trouble for that. I am not sure which is the safest one.  Now I have totally failed in my business. But I wish I can have a fresh start. I wish I can live better after going back to the hometown. I am trying to bring myself the strength to fight on. I have given up for two weeks. But it is not feeling good. I walk one step forward. I wish I can see a brighter future.